Funny Sms

Friend 1: what did the volcano say
to the other volcano?
Friend 2: Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate
objects that do not possess the ability
to speak
Friend 1: You killed it.

Still not asleep?
I used to sleep at night,
then I discovered the internet.

What does BRB, LOL and
Cool mean?

BRB = I don’t want to talk to you anymore
LOL = I have nothing else to say
COOl = I really don’t care

I definitely feel like
you hate me

I hate everyone so you
shouldn’t take it personally.

So we’re cool now right?
You seem calm enough,
I am thinking you’re not
mad anymore.

I may look calm, but in
my mind I have killed you
several times.

Why do I always text you first?
You don’t have to if you don’t want to?
Then we would never talk!

I almost went to jail today.
I was so scared.
Those monopoly games
get pretty intense.

Son: Mom, when I was on the
bus with dad this morning
he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done
the right thing.

Son: But mom, I was sitting on
daddy’s lap.

Son: I have an iphone
Daughter: I have an ipod
Wife: I have an ipad
Dad: I paid for all this.